Involved Dad???

I am sitting here looking at my two youngest children hanging out with each other and thinking about our day. Every morning that they have school I am up laying out clothes for my youngest (if  I didn't he would look a hot mess with a thousand colors, lol) and calling my daughter a few times before her teenage self begins to move.  My children are like me, they are not exactly morning people - we are not morning people.  We like to ease into the day.  We aren't grumpy we just like to move slowly and not talk.  Sometimes it is an issue when we oversleep but in general we are good.  Once we hit the car we are wide awake and ready to go.  We listen to our music, talk about where we need to be after school, do we have everything (books, laptops, homework, lunch), all in our 20 minute ride to both Charter schools.  Watching them got me thinking about all I do as a Mom.  The fact that my day seems to revolve around our schedules - I think about how I am always considering where they need to be, how they are getting there, is homework done, is there lunch food, what is for dinner, did we spend enough quality time together, do they seem happy, what do they need etc...all before I make a move.  I can never just get up and leave the house without being sure they are okay, whether they are coming with me, are they safe, are they fed while the DIOL (dad in our life) moves about doing whatever he wants, comes and goes, without much thought as to what is going on with kids.  Not because he is a bad father but because he knows Mom has them.  Are all men like this? He expects me to make sure he knows about the going ons at school and in the kids lives and to just let him know, he expects me to make all doctors appointments, make sure there is food, that they have all that they need etc...not because he isn't thoughtful or doesn't love his kids.  He just doesn't think about it.  Is this normal? What about the DIOL in your house? How much do they participate in the day to day stuff with the kids? Do you wish they participated more? Or is just easier for you to handle everything? I think about other men in my life and realize one never has a clue how much money he has and depends on his wife to take care of the bills.  He of course contributes financially and for many years was the sole provider but never knows if he can afford a haircut without asking.  Another pays the bills for the household but just kind of does it willy nilly.  Nothing gets shut off but lots of late fee's build up.  Do men take this role on because we put them there, do they naturally fall into it, are they just lazy, what and why is it that way? Maybe it is just in the circle I see but I had to ask.  What are your thought?